i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
