And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
