i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
