I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
