just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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