More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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