Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Are we still banned from the library?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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