its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
