Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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