all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
