this just has baby written all over it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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