I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
