It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
