Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
