I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
