put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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