Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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