this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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