So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
