Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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