My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
