I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
