I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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