so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
