Tell her she can't have a vagina
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
