Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
