so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
