So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
