it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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