Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
