Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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