hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
