hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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