I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
