I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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