It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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