i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
