Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize