Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
