Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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