Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
