And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize