He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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