i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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