dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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