who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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