Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think my mom watched the whole time
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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