I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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