Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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