**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
