You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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