So drunk its hurt
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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