I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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