i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize