Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
