I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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