I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I will pee on everything he values.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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