I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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