So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
