Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
