my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
