every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
