I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
