is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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