thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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