white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
