rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
