Kiss
Puke
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
