Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
