Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
