i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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