Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
