is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
