i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We need to rekindle our bromance
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
