There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Send help, water and tortillas.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
