no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
