Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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