yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
