I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
