And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize